How to Not Do Things

As we left Enslow, I put a message out on Facebook saying we were headed for Oxford. One of our friends in Oxford must've read this and messaged me. 'Meet in the Isis Farmhouse.'

We didn't think we'd make it there for some reason. Anyway, anyone planning rather long days boating, I have some advice for you.

Don't go to the Isis Tavern and drink three pints of cider. Don't then go onto the Co-Op and buy food. Don't go to your friends house in Oxford, cook vegetarian noodles, then serve Eton mess and don't drink red wine infront of their campfire at the bottom of their garden. Don't wash up then leave their house at 1.30am in order to go to a full moon bonfire by the Thames. Don't stay there 'til 3am, drinking more wine until it starts throwing it down. Don't walk home with rhubard leaves as headgear because you didn't bring any waterproofs. Don't wake up at 9.30am the next day 'feeling a bit weird.' Don't walk to the Co-Op and buy fry up ingredients because it's not possible to move the boat otherwise. Especially don't even though you set off *really late* stop in Abingdon to gossip with Workboat Pug for an hour (Ok, you did stop to buy stern grease I'll let you off).

Well, you know, just don't. And finally. Don't spill Rioja on the keyboard. It affects the speeeling. :/